is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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