why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
