Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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