Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
