he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
