omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
