my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize