Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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