he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
