then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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