Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
