Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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