The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
