I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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