You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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