Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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