So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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