WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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