she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
