he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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