Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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