Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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