How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize