aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
