Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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