just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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