I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
