dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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