That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize