I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he puts the penis in happiness.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she told me i tasted like america
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
