DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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