I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize