Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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