you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
