Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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