a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
