I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
