Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
