I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
