We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
