Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
