i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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