I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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