He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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