It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
