the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
