yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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