My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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