no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
