do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I sprained my soul last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
