I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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