theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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