Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize