there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize