Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
