Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
