I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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