theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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