I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
