happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
