We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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