I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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