And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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