I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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