are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize