I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
