i may or may not be watching the land before time
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
